The new rules
- The correct form of address when speaking to the Chancellor is "Your Eloquence".
- Open mic sign up concludes when the Chancellor takes exclusive possession of the sign up board (at around 10:00pm, most likely).
- The sign up board comprises separate sign up sheets in different spoken word categories, each containing six spots.
- Performers signed up in the first spot (marked "1") in each category will be called first. Subsequent performers will be called at random from the various categories until the open mic ends.
- Performers may sign up in the first spot in only one category each. They may sign up elsewhere in one other category, but preference will be given to performers who have not yet been heard from.
- Brevity is the essence, the core, the very soul of wit. Time is limited, so performers are asked to present only one short piece. One or two minutes is excellent, three quite acceptable, four or five pushing it a bit, six or seven almost unbearable, and eight or more unspeakably naughty.
- Performers are asked to keep their pieces within the reasonable bounds of their category. For example, claiming that a poem about a cat counts as a lecture is a little suspect.
- When it is time for the open mic to end, the Chancellor will personally select the final performer for the night from the names remaining.
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